Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
this will be a night to untag.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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