Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
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I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
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You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize