My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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