Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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