omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
