Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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