Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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