Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
When are your genitals available?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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