I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
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I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
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Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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