dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
