so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Drake has all the answers
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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