My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
