You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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