hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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