I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
