If i come over, it means nothing
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
