I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My vagina just recognized that song.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
