Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
