I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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