Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
