Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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