You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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