We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
