I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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