connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
