i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
