All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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