I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
