Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
