this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
