don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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