the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My life is pants optional.
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