The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
