i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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