I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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