god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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