Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
