More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
