i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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