So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize