found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
