Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
