I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize