You're my little dorito
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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