In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
