hell yes lets make some ravioli
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
