1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
