a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize