Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
