The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
