I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The uberlube is also flammable
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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