I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
