Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
