You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
