she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
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Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
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No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I got inside last night via doggy door
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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