My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
