Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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