I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
