Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize