At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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